Choose to be happy – the
toughest lesson of this life, but if you don't learn it now, you're wasting
time.
Take the existence of imperfection
on faith, and stop looking for it.
Be patient and empathetic with
those who have disabilities you don't have. No one is able bodied forever.
Before seeing any healthcare
provider, obtain a policy statement on reviewing your records. Your goal
is to find a provider who will be your partner in your health care.
Take charge of your healthcare
by keeping copies of what a doctor writes in your chart. If you don't understand
the medical jargon, look
it up.
Mental healthcare, i.e., 'therapy,'
is about learning that no one on this earth – not your mother, father,
siblings, lover, children, dearest friends – no one loves you
the way you yearn to be loved. Accept this simple truth and be well.
Check your credit report once
a year.
Never recommend a book before you've finished reading it.
Don't wear anything you can't
run in.
Remember that any woman who
says she's not a feminist is either trying to fool you, or she's fooling
herself.
When operating within an organization,
never lose sight of the fact that the chain of command is not an indication
of a person's worth – it is simply how things get done.
Pass your knowledge and skills
on – and learn. You don't really know something until you try to teach
it to someone else.
Don't use "R.S.V.P." on invitations
that are written in English. R.S.V.P. is from the French phrase "Repondez
s'il vous plait," which translates: "Please respond." Avoid convoluted communications
and simply use "Please reply."
Don't trust that first flush
of attraction – it is so often dispelled by a few conversations.
Don't get romantically involved
with someone whose family you can't tolerate – no matter how hard you
want to believe your beloved is different, roots are forever.
By the same token, don't get
romantically involved with someone who can't appreciate your taste in humor
or music. These may seem like trivial issues, but they're not really things
that can be taught, and when you're sharing space – in my experience
– conflicts in these areas are insurmountable.
Never marry someone you don't
think is "cute" – you won't make it past the 4th year hump. (This was
a really hard lesson for someone who fervently believes in the concept of
"inner beauty" – but hey, stop kidding yourself and listen to your
primal, though unPC, gut.)
Before you decide to get married,
go sit in your local divorce court for a couple of hours, and meditate on
the fact that a marriage license is a contract that you're buying off the
shelf – "one size fits all" – and is written (and constantly revised)
by a knot of state politicians.
Always be honorable when ending
a romantic involvement – when ending relationships with artist types,
especially consider how the creativity you once were drawn to might now
work against you.
You don't have to put up with
people who judge you, or in any way make life painful – even if you're
related to them. (This was another really hard lesson, especially for someone
who believes that we all choose our own circumstances/lessons – but
then, maybe you chose adversity so you could learn to get yourself out of
it?)
Don't antagonize your neighbors
– they know where you live.
As a good steward of the earth,
support – with sentiment and action – those who choose not to
procreate.
Deciding to have children is
committing to make a sacrifice – of money, time, and attention –
for the rest of your life. At the very least, enter that commitment with
resolve.
Parenthood is not about being
in control but about being a guide. Your responsibility is to teach all
that you know so that your small charge will be at least one evolutionary
step beyond you. If you fail as a parent, we fail as a species.
Treat your children the way you hope they will treat you when you are no longer able bodied and at their mercy.
As a parent, know that you are
your child's best advocate; a child is lost in the public school system
(and the rest of the world) without an advocate.
If you want to remain on speaking
terms with your mother, don't tell her she's being a princess, especially
if she is.