RENICE WERNETTE'S FREE ADVICE
 
  • Choose to be happy – the toughest lesson of this life, but if you don't learn it now, you're wasting time.
     
  • Take the existence of imperfection on faith, and stop looking for it.
     
  • Be patient and empathetic with those who have disabilities you don't have. No one is able bodied forever.
     
  • Before seeing any healthcare provider, obtain a policy statement on reviewing your records. Your goal is to find a provider who will be your partner in your health care.
     
  • Take charge of your healthcare by keeping copies of what a doctor writes in your chart. If you don't understand the medical jargon, look it up.
     
  • Mental healthcare, i.e., 'therapy,' is about learning that no one on this earth – not your mother, father, siblings, lover, children, dearest friends – no one loves you the way you yearn to be loved. Accept this simple truth and be well.
     
  • Check your credit report once a year.
     
  • Never recommend a book before you've finished reading it.
     
  • Don't wear anything you can't run in.
     
  • Remember that any woman who says she's not a feminist is either trying to fool you, or she's fooling herself.
     
  • When operating within an organization, never lose sight of the fact that the chain of command is not an indication of a person's worth – it is simply how things get done.
     
  • Pass your knowledge and skills on – and learn. You don't really know something until you try to teach it to someone else.
     
  • Don't use "R.S.V.P." on invitations that are written in English. R.S.V.P. is from the French phrase "Repondez s'il vous plait," which translates: "Please respond." Avoid convoluted communications and simply use "Please reply."
     
  • Don't trust that first flush of attraction – it is so often dispelled by a few conversations.
     
  • Don't get romantically involved with someone whose family you can't tolerate – no matter how hard you want to believe your beloved is different, roots are forever.
     
  • By the same token, don't get romantically involved with someone who can't appreciate your taste in humor or music. These may seem like trivial issues, but they're not really things that can be taught, and when you're sharing space – in my experience – conflicts in these areas are insurmountable.
     
  • Never marry someone you don't think is "cute" – you won't make it past the 4th year hump. (This was a really hard lesson for someone who fervently believes in the concept of "inner beauty" – but hey, stop kidding yourself and listen to your primal, though unPC, gut.)
     
  • Before you decide to get married, go sit in your local divorce court for a couple of hours, and meditate on the fact that a marriage license is a contract that you're buying off the shelf – "one size fits all" – and is written (and constantly revised) by a knot of state politicians.
     
  • Always be honorable when ending a romantic involvement – when ending relationships with artist types, especially consider how the creativity you once were drawn to might now work against you.
     
  • You don't have to put up with people who judge you, or in any way make life painful – even if you're related to them. (This was another really hard lesson, especially for someone who believes that we all choose our own circumstances/lessons – but then, maybe you chose adversity so you could learn to get yourself out of it?)
     
  • Don't antagonize your neighbors – they know where you live.
     
  • As a good steward of the earth, support – with sentiment and action – those who choose not to procreate.
     
  • Deciding to have children is committing to make a sacrifice – of money, time, and attention – for the rest of your life. At the very least, enter that commitment with resolve.
     
  • Parenthood is not about being in control but about being a guide. Your responsibility is to teach all that you know so that your small charge will be at least one evolutionary step beyond you. If you fail as a parent, we fail as a species.
     
  • Treat your children the way you hope they will treat you when you are no longer able bodied and at their mercy.
     
  • As a parent, know that you are your child's best advocate; a child is lost in the public school system (and the rest of the world) without an advocate.
     
  • If you want to remain on speaking terms with your mother, don't tell her she's being a princess, especially if she is.
     

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